Think: LIVING

(Thanksgiving '97)
Be glad you’re not a turkey!
You wanna talk of stress?
Its time to eat — AND I’M THE MEAT!
I tell ya I’m a mess.
 
You whine about some shopping?
Give ME that shopping list.
I’ll leave today and be back — HEY!
NOW LADY, I INSIST!
 
I haven’t slept much lately — 
I’m just a pile of nerves.
I’m on the lam promotin’ ham
And runnin’ on reserves.
 
They advertise “smoked turkey” — 
But I don’t even smoke!
Koop said to quit so that was it.
Long life?  Now that’s some joke!
 
I’m always in the business
Of saving my own hide.
Quite honestly, I’d like to see
My giblets stay inside.
 
So far, I’ve been real lucky,
So don’t think all is lost.
BUT…
If I somehow, had fingers now,
You KNOW that they’d be crossed!